Pure Disguise

Can’t stop the rain from falling or even calm the ocean…
I’m only human, as weak as everyone else.
But I am different, because I wanted to be different..
It’s as if I’m wearing a mask- to cover my face,
To hide my personality…
Coz I can’t let them see the real me… I can’t let HIM..
I can’t understand why it happens.. why loving someone
Brings so much pain.. why loving someone feels like killing
Yourself. It’s amazing how we tend to ignore
Those who love us and keep on running after those
who are hiding from us.. We make ourselves look stupid
when we didn’t do anything.. then we won’t win anything..
I am trying to clear my head, to be practical and just
Settle on who’s available…to just see who’s in front of
Me and not look on anyone else..to love him who
Cares for me, who will give anything to me, who will
Love me for who I am.. but I just can’t..
My head always turn on the other directionm my eyes
Search opposite ways.. my heart craves for someone else..
Someone who’s nowhere in sight, someone who
Pretends that I do not exist, someone so stupid
He kept on ignoring me.. but I don’t have much of a
Choice.. I don’t want to be selfish to love him who
Loves me just because the one that I love
Doesn’t love me back.. I don’t want to be unfair, I don’t
Want to hurt someone else’s feelings.. because it HURTS..
It hurts so much I’m afraid they can’t handle it the way
I do.. because they are still amateurs, and I am a
Professional.. I’m almost numb, I almost laugh when somebody
Hurt me again.. but I am not a bad person, I won’t revenge,
I won’t do harm to anybody who doesn’t have a fault,
Who didn’t do anything to make me feel hell..
I am good. Yes I am. That’s why I cannot love him, no matter
What he does.. I just can’t.. because I don’t want to be
Eating my own words. I don’t want to be loved by
Someone just because the one that he loves doesn’t
love him back. I want equality. Justice. So that people
won’t have anything to say to complain.. because I hate it
when people tell me things that I should do or comment
on whatever I did. I owe them nothing so I better not
care about a thing that they say.
Hey. I’m just me. Let me be me. For myself…


_the12thpoet_