Find Me

I hate numbers.
I always hated numbers.
Coz numbers make my mind
work endlessly.
Numbers use almost all
of my brain cells.
And it’s excruciating.

And also, numbers
remind me of someone.
Someone who’s most unworthy
of being remembered.
Someone that I’d love to
send to the outer space.
Coz even his ABSENCE
tortures me.
And I know it will torture me
forever.
Just the same as the fact
that numbers will haunt
me forever.
They won’t leave me alone.
They’ll bug me to death.

Four days ago, I saw him again.
It’s stupid coz I was not expecting
that time.
For about 3 minutes, I was
paralyzed.
Just like what happened
54 days ago.
He surprised me.
I was not prepared…

I have known him for
34 months now.
34 heart-breaking months.
1,020 draining days.
24,480 irritating hours.
1,468,800 forsaken minutes.
88,128,000 cursed seconds.
How many more will I count?!

But sometimes, even numbers
fail me.
The number of times my heart beats
when I see him can not
be counted.
The number of tears that
flowed in my cheeks
were innumerable.
The nights I spent thinking
of him are countless…

----

Find me someone who’ll teach me
how to forget counting.
Find me someone who’ll teach me
Science instead of Math.
Find me someone who’ll be powerful
enough to replace him.
You know what?
I bet that someone
hasn’t been born yet…


_the12thpoet_